How I Crushed 2015

Hey kids, I’m back. 2015 was a very eventful year for me (if you’re a statistics guy and want to quantitatively measure exactly how eventful it was, don’t worry bruh, I got you covered).

I don’t really have the time, patience or will to write any more fiction. I truly believe great art comes from a place of great suffering, and maybe that’s why I have been writing ultra shitty recently, since I have been generally very happy. I have really belabored this point in the past so I won’t say any more about it, but you get the idea. But the good thing about writing after a long time is that the words really flow put of you , even if they are shitty words. Writers block is a real condition and affects everybody from Gabriel Garcia Marquez to the writers on Comedy Nights with Kapil. I don’t know where I am going with this point.

Anyways, here’s a random collection of thoughts, facts and musings:

1. If you buy a new pair of shoes and never wear them outside, you can wear them inside all the time.

2. No that was not fucking copied from r/showerthoughts.

3. Male pornstars shouldn’t have tattoos on their bodies. It destroys the illusion that that could be me one day. Who knew porn didn’t depict sex in a realistic way.

4. You have a higher chance of getting struck by lightning than of being Brad Pitt.

5. Totally wasn’t joking about the statistics.

6. I am writing this while listening to The Next Episode by Dr Dre feat. Snoop Dogg (or Snoop Lion or Snoop Leoplurodon or whatever).

7. You have a higher chance of getting struck by lightning than of being Angelina Jolie.

8. I know I exaggerate things, coz I got it like that. Tuck my napkin in my shirt coz I’m just mobbin like that.

9. The contrast between the US and India is really fascinating. The more I think about it, the more I realize that India can never, and should never, be like the US. Humans are a corrupting influence on everybody else. Look at nature. Those places that are untouched by humans are breathtakingly beautiful. And then we get there and we blow up half the place because we need fucking oil and Walmart and McDonald’s. Even in the US, older established cities like Philadelphia, Baltimore etc are already crumbling. The well being of a certain place is inversely proportional to the amount of time humans have spent there. Anyways, I think that with the way everything in the US is expanding, it will certainly become like India one day. India is just 500-700 years ahead of US in the development cycle; in fact we are so far ahead that we already hit the bottom and are on the rise again. Don’t worry US, you’ll get there.

10. 50 Cent is underrated.

11. If your mother tells you that you’re doing everything the wrong way, eventually you should stop and wonder “Is she left handed?”

There it is- my collected thoughts on how my 2015 was. One of the most common complaints I got on my posts is that I have a very rambling style of writing therefore I made a conscious effort to present my thoughts in a clear, concise and coherent manner. So have fun, drink responsibly and vote for Bernie.


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