Bombay vs. Delhi vs. Tucker & Dale vs. Evil

I am a Bombay (it’s Bombay and not Mumbai and fuck you Shiv Sena, unless you’re reading this, in which case please don’t kill me) guy who spends most of his time in Delhi (also known colloquially as Daaahlli).

I study in Delhi but used to live in Bombay for quite some time and still go back there during my holidays. I have friends in both these places. Thus, all these factors make me well suited to analyze the various differences between both the cities.

I would like to point out that this is my personal opinion and is in no way the final word on the topic. Also, when I say Delhi, I’m including all of Delhi NCR in this (yes, I know it’s a very erroneous generalization). I will try to be as objective as I can (not really) and hope to draw some groundbreaking conclusions from my exhaustive/farcical study.

  • The people in Bombay are way more hardworking. People pride themselves on how hard and how honestly they work. Hard work matters more than natural intelligence. It is almost the opposite in Delhi. The more shortcuts you use, the better. The more people you fool, the better. The ultimate aim is to earn maximum money by putting minimal effort. For the more scientifically inclined, hard work is directly proportional to stupidity and inversely proportional to the respect you get in Delhi. You’re an idiot if you work for anything. Lol at you if you work hard.
  • People in Bombay are much more straightforward and blunt (420 blaze it). That can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on the context. Delhi people, on the other hand will lie blatantly. Sometimes that’s ok because the truth hurts and life is hard with ups and downs, highs and lows. But I digress. Sometimes, it’s fun to lie to people through your teeth and indulge in a game of “Who can lie the best.” If you like playing drawn out mind games, Delhi is the place for you. Let’s just say that, if Game of Thrones was set in India, Delhi would be King’s Landing.
  • Food is much much much much better in Delhi. You get the most awesome food in Delhi. That’s not to say that the food in Bombay is bad. But the food in Delhi is just way better. Even though I’m vegetarian (yes, yes, hahahaha, the joke’s on me), Delhi still has a much more variety of awesome food to eat. Bombay has much more street food and you have to pay good money to eat really good food. But in Delhi, you get awesome, cheap, filled-with-so-much-butter-that-it’s-heart-attack-inducing food everywhere.
  • Delhi girls are prettier than Bombay girls. But Bombay girls are nicer. Let’s just leave it at that.
  • Random people don’t help you in Bombay. You could be bleeding on the road, and they’ll step over you and go on their way, all the while cursing and abusing you for wasting their time. Nobody will give a fuck that you’re dying. Delhi people will mostly help you. They have an in built friendliness that Bombay people don’t have. On the whole, Delhi people are also more extroverted and loud.
  • Bombay has a shit load of people, but the population is concentrated more in certain areas (like the suburbs) rather than spread out. So a lot of the places are just teeming like crazy with masses of human beings whereas some places are almost deserted. Delhi is more evenly populated so you’ll have a decent amount of people everywhere you go. Every place is moderately crowded. Except Sarojini Nagar on Sunday, which has a population density of around infinity approximately.
  • Bombay is way more safer than Delhi. You can go out at 2 in the night, grab a taxi/auto and go anywhere you want. In Delhi, all you can do at 2 in the night is get killed/mugged/stabbed. Overall, Bombay is also much safer for women.
  • Bombay people don’t give a fuck. They simply don’t care enough to judge you. Delhi people, on the other hand, are just waiting for an opportunity to judge you.
  • Delhi people, on average, have much more ego. Bombay people just act like they have balls. If you have an accident on the road in Bombay, the maximum a guy will do is abuse you and threaten to beat you up, but he will never actually do so because he is as big a pussy as you, if not bigger. In Delhi, if you put one scratch on somebody’s car, the chances are high that you will be beaten the fuck up/shot. Everybody in Delhi is just waiting to get into a fight.
  • People in Bombay have more daddy issues.
  • Delhi people are more inherently racist, to the point that they don’t even realize that they’re being racist. Bombay people are pretty open minded and aren’t very discriminatory. Thus on the whole, Bombay is much more progressive than Delhi.
  • You can live in Bombay for years without making any friends. People have no clue who their neighbours are in Bombay and don’t care. Everybody is just too busy. But the friends you do make, will be some of the best friends you will have. If somebody is willing to make time for you, grab hold of them and never let them go. In Delhi however, you can make friends very easily. Since everybody is pretty friendly outwardly, you can make a lot of friends in a short time. How long these friendships last is totally dependent on you.
  • A Bombay guy could may be, possibly survive in Delhi. No way a Delhi guy survives in Bombay.

There. I hope this solves some of the questions you might have had (I know it doesn’t).There’s no point in trying to guess which is the better city because that is a pretty meaningless question.

If you got offended in any way, good for you.

If you think I’m wrong, good for you.

Also, Tucker & Dale vs Evil is a really cool movie and you should watch it (Katrina Bowden <3).

P.S. Is it “pride themselves in” or “pride themselves on”? I wrote in first but the more I read it, the more I thought it should be on. Now that I switched it to on from in, I’ve started thinking in suits better. Fak U English.

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5 thoughts on “Bombay vs. Delhi vs. Tucker & Dale vs. Evil

    1. Yeah I mean it depends from person to person and ultimately there’s no point generalizing but these are my personal views and I thought maybe I am in a good position to say these things since I have spent an appreciable out of time in both places.

      Liked by 1 person

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